How to cut a key in half without breaking a sweat

First, open your trunk by inserting the key

Next, pull out your back breaking humpback producing laptop bag

Put said back very precariously on shoulder

Now (this part is important) slam the trunk shut by grabbing ahold of your keys and pulling

If done with enough force this should dislodge the laptop bag from your shoulder while your hand is still connected to the keys

The bag should then fall straight to the ground, separating your hand from the trunk.

Look closely, you know have a key in your hand, and the other half neatly lodged in the trunk.

*To make your morning extra fun, do this on a day when you experimented with a soy latte and the EMT's arrived at work, shutting off the elevators so you have to climb 6 flights of stairs with the above heavy bag. Also, you should have a key that needs programming and costs well over $100 to replace